If you’re a recovering nice guy, you know that being a codependent is no joke. In fact, it can be downright debilitating. But don’t worry! Recovery from codependency requires understanding where it comes from and how it manifests itself in your relationships, which is what this guide will help you do. We’ll look at the common symptoms of being a recovering nice guy and break down why they happen—so that you can create healthier relationships and learn how to take better care of yourself along the way.
You’re a recovering nice guy.
You’re a recovering nice guy. You might have low self-esteem, or you may be codependent. You don’t know how to stand up for yourself and make your needs known, so you end up doing whatever other people want.
You probably have some good qualities–you’re loyal, polite and caring–but they’ve been overshadowed by the fact that you’ve been so focused on making others happy that you lost sight of what makes YOU happy in the first place!
You might have low self-esteem.
As a recovering Nice Guy, you might have low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is often caused by childhood experiences (e.g., abuse, neglect) or the way you were raised by your parents. It can also be the result of feeling like you are not good enough in some way: maybe you’re not smart enough, athletic enough or attractive enough for other people to love and accept you as an individual. The good news is that there are steps that can help improve your self-esteem so that it feels stronger than ever before!
You may be codependent.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a woman who is emotionally unavailable, you might be codependent.
Codependency is defined as a pattern of unhealthy behavior that stems from an addiction to another person’s approval, attention and affection. If your partner treats you poorly but it doesn’t bother you because they give you what other people don’t (like money or sex), then this could be a sign of codependence.
You can also tell if someone is codependent by how much time they spend talking about their partners’ problems and issues instead of focusing on their own lives; if they have never had any friends or interests outside their relationship; if they feel guilty when spending time away from their partner; if the amount of time spent together feels like an obligation rather than something enjoyable; if there are occasions where one person’s needs take priority over another’s even though both individuals may want different things at those moments–these are all signs that something isn’t right in your relationship!
You don’t know how to stand up for yourself and make your needs known.
- You may not know how to stand up for yourself and make your needs known.
- You may have been raised in a family where you were taught that your needs don’t matter. The message was: “You should be nice to everyone, never say no and always give more than you get.”
You might feel like you’re undeserving of love and good things in life, so you put those feelings on the people in your life.
The Nice Guy’s low self-esteem can affect his relationships in a number of ways. He may put the needs of others before his own, or he may feel like he’s undeserving of love and good things in life, so he puts those feelings on the people in his life.
This is often a problem when it comes to dating: if you don’t think you’re worthy enough for your date, then it’s easier for them to see through any attempts at feigning interest or sincerity. You might also try too hard by doing things that aren’t genuine expressions of yourself–like telling jokes that aren’t funny just because they make other people laugh–and end up coming off as fake or insincere instead of charmingly awkward (which could actually be pretty endearing).
The best way to overcome this issue is by getting better acquainted with who YOU are as an individual! Take some time every day just being alone with yourself and reflecting on what makes YOU happy/sad/excited/etc., then write down these thoughts so they become part of who YOU really ARE instead just something fleeting inside someone else’s head (aka “the other person”).
You tend to see the good in everyone and everything.
You tend to see the good in everyone and everything. You’re a natural optimist, which means you often find yourself helping others who are struggling through life with their own problems. This is an amazing quality that can make your life better, but there are some drawbacks:
- You tend to take on too much responsibility for other people’s issues
- You don’t always take care of yourself as well as you should because you’re so busy helping others
Emotional connection is key for you.
You need to be sure that you are with someone who can reciprocate your emotional connection. If you’re not, it will be hard for you to feel loved and accepted by the person in your life.
Your sensitivity is a blessing and a curse: You can sense what others feel, which makes them feel safe around you; however, it also leaves them vulnerable because they know how easily hurt or offended they could be if someone doesn’t treat them like they matter.
You’re sensitive and empathetic, but that can be confusing because sometimes you want to be treated like an adult with a sense of self worth.
You’re sensitive and empathetic, but that can be confusing because sometimes you want to be treated like an adult with a sense of self worth. You don’t want to be taken advantage of or used, but at the same time, you don’t want to reject someone who needs help.
You have a lot of compassion for people and their problems. You’re good at listening without judgment and offering advice when it’s asked for; however, sometimes this makes it hard for others (and yourself) to know where your boundaries are in relationships–and whether or not they’ve been crossed. It may also lead some people into thinking they can take advantage of your kindness because they think no one else would put up with them as well as you do!
Recovery from codependency requires understanding where it comes from and how it manifests itself in your relationships, which is what this guide will help you do
Codependency can be a tough thing to overcome, but it’s important to know that codependents are not born that way. It’s a learned behavior that develops over time and often involves some kind of trauma in childhood or adolescence.
If you grew up with an alcoholic parent, for example, chances are good that your own relationship patterns will reflect those of your parents’–even if they were not abusive or neglectful in any way. Your upbringing may have been perfect; however, there was still likely some sort of dysfunction present (or else why would they drink so much?). In this case, the dysfunction may have been caused by alcoholism itself: perhaps your parents were fighting constantly because they were frustrated with each other’s drinking habits; maybe one parent had trouble holding down a job because he/she was drunk all day long; maybe both parents were depressed because their lives revolved around alcohol consumption rather than family activities like going out together on weekends or vacations during summer vacation months when school wasn’t in session anymore…you get the idea!
Recovering from codependency requires understanding where it comes from and how it manifests itself in your relationships, which is what this guide will help you do.