Who should pay the bill on a date?
This can be quite an issue for women who have been brought up with the concept that the guy always pays.
A very liberated woman would say: “An old-fashioned curtsey and out of date (excuse the pun) and I intend to pay my own way”.
But what about from the guy’s point of view. Perhaps in his mind he is having the pleasure of your company and the enjoyment he gets out of the date is sufficient for him to want to settle the bill. Plus the fact that this habit has been ingrained in him from childhood.
There is sometimes the idea in a woman’s mind that if he pays she is obliged to him in some way. Two can play that game. He might have that in mind and she might feel obliged.
Well if this is you, you can offer to pay next time or to be more subtle, make the return less obvious like taking him on a picnic whereby you are supplying the edibles – (food that is).
It does depend on the situation and also on the man. If he is the generous sort and he is doing the inviting then obviously he will want to pay the bill.
Another situation maybe that he is not moneyed and if you have found this out before the date then there is no harm in going dutch. I suggest you treat it in a lighthearted manner.
Its also a way of discovering if he is a mean with his money and doesn’t like spending it on women for a first date even if he is quite well off. It could indicate he is mean in other ways and part of his character that rubs you the wrong way.
You are a very independent modern thinking lady and state quite clearly that you would prefer to go dutch especially if it is the first date. Then you are not beholden to him in any way.
Its a great idea to have some general guidelines though regardless. Here’s a thought. Whoever does the asking ought to be the one paying for the occasion.
If one partner is a person of means then the probability is higher for that person to settle.
Maybe there are 2 parts to the date, it can be arranged beforehand that one offers to pay for the opera and the other pays for the dinner or supper to follow.
One the whole however, you will find in our age group that traditional habit of the man out of curtsey to his partner will want to pay.
Its entirely up to you as a woman as to how you respond to those traditional traits.
I believe you will find that you will in general, attract men who hold the same values as yourself.